well I can't set my house on fire every night
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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