Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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