I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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