I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
