i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize