If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
