CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
