Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
