those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
