I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I accidentally burped into my bong.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
