Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
