he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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