I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
