I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
