Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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