quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My balls are so social today.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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