she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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