you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
