end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
