I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
