I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Randomize
