Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
