i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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