My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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