your thong is hanging out like whoa
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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