cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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