There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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