he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
