I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize