this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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