Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
