I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize