what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
