it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
