Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
