I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
