Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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