I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize