then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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