I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Panties = found
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
