he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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