let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
