i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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