i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
