I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
