so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize