Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
