I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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