We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
