It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
