The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize