it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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