so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
