A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize