Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
