So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
