after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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