I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
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