I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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