she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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