I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
