the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
