Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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