thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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