so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
