If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
