you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
