I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
