Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
