Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
BRING THE BAGELS
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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