They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
