We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I should be sponsored by Trojan
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
