I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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