Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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